Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card.
Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry soul who made you that way.
2 When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3 When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4 When you get scared -- I will tease you about it every chance I get afterwards.
5 When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6 When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7 When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again.
I don't want to get whatever you have.
8 When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy footsteps.
9 This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.
Remember: A friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.
Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.........
