A major research institution has recently announced the discovery
of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has
been tentatively named "Administratium."
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by particles
called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it
can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one
reaction to take more than four days to complete when it would
normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does
not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and
assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time,
since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons
forming isodopes.< o:p>
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists
to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons
reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when
you see it.
