Corporate Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The
woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the
bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says,
"did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and
risk with your stakeholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her
gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember
Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand
slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest
rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will
find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job,
you might miss a great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when
they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie
says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the
admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care
in the world" Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want
to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're
up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in
the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I
also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why
not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped
on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very
high up.
Corporate Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed
with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after
eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth
night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted
by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullsh't might get you to the top, but it won't keep you
there.
