A major Hurricane (Shazza) measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in
the early hours of Monday. Epicentre: Basildon, Essex. Victims were seen
wandering around aimless muttering "faaackin ell" ...
The
hurricane decimated the area causing approximately '30 worth of
damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish
Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out
cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived.
Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents
were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact
that something interesting had happened in Basildon.
One
resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a
shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I
was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.
The
British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight
to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large
quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from
Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW
CAN YOU HELP?
This
appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate
enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after,
items most needed include:-
Fila
or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any
other items usually sold in Primark.
Food
parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:-
Microwave meals
Tins
of baked beans
Ice
cream
Cans
of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
PLEASE REMEMBER
22p
buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
'2
buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
'5
will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of
those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in Claret - 'where
are
you bleeding from?' they asked - "ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that got to
do wiv it?"
