A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise his hand?" Not one hand went up ... So she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.
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A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the boy 3
nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy begins choking,
getting blue in the face.
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him
on the back. The boy coughs up 2 nickels, but keeps on choking. Looking at
his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive, woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a
coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping coffee. At the sound of the
commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the
newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her
way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the
boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then
ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs
up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and
walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father
rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen
anybody do anything like that before. It was fantastic. Are you a doctor?
"No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."
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