Dogs Hate Computers

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  • They can’t stick their heads out of Windows ’95 and ’98.


  • Fetch command not available on all platforms.


  • Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.


  • Too difficult to “mark” every website you visit.


  • They can’t help attacking the screen when they hear, “You’ve Got Mail.”


  • They find the fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.


  • Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they’re browsing instead of working.


  • Thy keep bruising their nose typing to catch that MPEG frisbee.


  • Not fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.


  • Still trying to come up with an “emoticon” that signifies tail-wagging. Oh but they will… with the introduction of Microsoft Opposable Thumb.


  • Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome


  • ‘Cause dogs ain’t Geeks! Now, cats, on the other hand…


  • Barking in the next cubicle keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.


  • SmellU-SmellME still a beta test.


  • Sit and Stay were hard enough. GREP and AWK are out of the question.


  • Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manoeuvre.


  • Annoyed by lack of news groups,’s.leg


  • Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.


  • TrO{gO DsA}R(N HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeljTyH P;AzWqs,.*

( *1. Too Darn Hard to Type with Paws.)


  • You can’t know for certain if it’s a real dog on the other end.


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