Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
Cora Harvey Armstrong
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
A male gynaecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.
The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Thirty five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb and I’m also not blonde.
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man if you want anything done, ask a woman.
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out…
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin…’
Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)