16 Commandments of Getting Old

To all the seniors out there and to those that are lucky enough to get there.

#1 – Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.

#2 – Consider “In Style” to be the clothes that still fit.

#3 – You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

#4 – Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

#5 – The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”

#6 – You have days when your life is just a tent away from a circus.

#7 – These days, “on time” is when you get there.

#8 – Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.

#9 – Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

#10 – Lately, You’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.

#11 – “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering why you’re there.

#12 – When you were a child, you thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini vacation.

#13 – Some days you have no idea what you’re doing out of bed.

#14 – You thought growing old would take longer.

#15 – Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.

#16 – You still haven’t learned to act your age

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