Australian Balance

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?”


God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds.”Look Michael, look what I’ve made.”


Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?”


“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’m going to call it Earth, and it’s going to be a place of great balance.”


“Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused.


God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. “For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot.


“Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people,” God continued, pointing to different countries. “And over there, I call this place America. North America will be rich and powerful and cold, while South America will be poor and hot and friendly.


“And the little spot in the middle is Central America, which is a hot spot. Can you see the balance?”


“Yes,” said the Archangel, impressed by God’s work. Then he pointed to a large land mass and asked, “What’s that one?”


“Ah,” said God. “That’s Australia, the most glorious place on Earth”.


“There are beautiful mountains, rain forests, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous, and they’re going to be found travelling the world. They’ll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace.


“I’m also going to give them super-human, un-defeatable cricket, rugby, tennis and golf players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them.”


Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed “But you said there would be BALANCE!”


God replied wisely, “Wait until you see the whingeing, sheep-rooting Kiwis I’m putting next to them.”



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