Definitions

BEAUTY PARLOUR

A place where women curl up and dye.

 

CHICKENS

The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead. 

 

COMMITTEE

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

 

DUST

Mud with the juice squeezed out.

 

EGOTIST

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. 

 

HANDKERCHIEF

Cold Storage

 

 INFLATION

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

 

 MOSQUITO 

An insect that makes you like flies better. 

 

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.

 

RAISIN

A grape with a sunburn. 

 

SECRET

A story you tell to one person at a time.

 

SKELETON

A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

 

  TOOTHACHE

The pain that drives you to extraction.

 

TOMORROW 

One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

 

YAWN

An honest opinion openly expressed. 

 

  WRINKLES

Something other people have….similar to my character lines.

 

OLD

I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”

. . . and that, my friend, is the definition of ‘OLD’!!!

 

In youth, the days are short and the years are long.

In old age, the years are short and days long.

 


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