John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!”
That won him the top prize at the local pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and said to his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.”
She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what exactly was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”
“Oh, that is so very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on a street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She responded, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep.”