My Sat Nav

I have a little Satnav

It sits there in my car

A Satnav is a driver’s friend

It tells you where you are

I have a little Satnav

I’ve had it all my life

It’s better than the normal ones

My Satnav is my wife


It gives me full instructions

Especially how to drive

“It’s thirty miles an hour”, it says

“You’re doing thirty five”

It tells me when to stop and start 

And when to use the brake

And tells me that it’s never ever

Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red

And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively 

Just when to intervene 

It lists the vehicles just in front

And all those to the rear 

And taking this into account 

It specifies my gear. 


I’m sure no other driver

Has so helpful a device 

For when we leave and lock the car

It still gives its advice 

It fills me up with counselling 

Each journey’s pretty fraught

So why don’t I exchange it 

And get a quieter sort? 

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, 

Makes sure I’m properly fed,

It washes all my shirts and things 

And – keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages

And my tendency to scoff,

I do wish that once in a while 

I could turn the bugger off.

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