Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card. Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
- When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry soul who made you that way.
- When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
- When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
- When you get scared, I will tease you about it every chance I get afterwards.
- When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
- When you are confused, I will use little words.
- When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again.
I don’t want to get whatever you have.
- When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy footsteps.
- This is my oath – I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask; ‘because you are my friend’.
Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.
Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel…