Marriage Secrets

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My wife and I have a secret to making marriage last. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food. a little wine and companionship. She goes Tuesday and I go Friday.


We sleep in separate beds, hers is in Sydney and mine is in Melbourne. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. I asked her where she wanted to go for our anniversary, ‘Somewhere I haven’t been for a long time’ she said. So I suggested our kitchen.


We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. She has an electric blender, an electric toaster, an electric bread maker. When she said she had too many gadgets, but nowhere to sit down, I bought her an electric chair.


Always remember that marriage is the number one cause for divorce. Statistically 1o0% of all divorces started with marriage. I married Miss Right, I just did not know that her first name was Always.


I haven’t spoken to her for eighteen months – I don’t like to interrupt her. The last time we had a fight, it was my fault. She asked ‘What’s on the TV?’ and I said ‘Dust.’


In the beginning God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. And since then neither God nor man has rested.


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