Rectal Thermometer

Arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his upset wife. Tearfully she said, “The chemist insulted me this morning on the phone.  I had to call time and time again before he would even answer it..”


Straight away, the husband drove to town to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, “Just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm didn’t go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realise that I’d locked the house with both house and car keys inside and I had to break a window to get my keys.


“Then, driving too fast, I got a speeding ticket.  Later, when I was about three streets from the shop, I had a flat tyre. When I finally got to the shop a crowd of people were waiting for me to open. I got the store opened and started serving these people, and all the time the damn phone was ringing. Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to get change, and they went all over the floor. I had to get on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still ringing. 


“When got up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase displaying perfume bottles. Half of them hit the floor and broke. Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.”


“Believe me mate, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”

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