The Hammer

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant:  “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” 

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You b*stard!”

The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer…” 

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, “You rotten b*stard!”

The judge stops the proceeding and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom:”Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

Paddy stands up and says, “I’m sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that a*sehole, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer he said he didn’t have one.”

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