Toffee Apple

A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a

Xmas fancy  dress party.


He doesn’t know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden

leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his 

problem.  A  few days later he receives a parcel with a



Dear  Sir,

Please find enclosed a  Pirate’s outfit. The spotted

handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden

leg you will be just right as a Pirate. 


The  man is offended that the outfit  emphasizes his disability, so he

writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he

receives another parcel and note


Dear  Sir,

Sorry about the previous  parcel. Please find enclosed a

monk’s habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and

with your bald head you will really look the part. 


The  man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company

has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing

attention to his bald head.  So he writes a really strong

letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small

parcel  from the company with the accompanying letter:


Dear  Sir,

Please find enclosed a  tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of  Golden Syrup over your bald

head, let it harden, then stick your good leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.

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